No longer the Stahrr of the show
No longer the Stahrr of the show
When she was younger, Bri Stahrr envisioned herself destined to play soccer. She focused all her athletic prowess on that one sport â spending every waking moment practicing in the backyard â and it remained that way until her parents told her she needed to add another activity to her rĂ©sumĂ©. They suggested lacrosse, a logical choice in New York, the state with the most high-school aged players and the most teams in the NCAA.
But Stahrr hated lacrosse. A native of North Syracuse, she possessed little interest in the game that has earned Syracuse University 10 national championships since 1983. Her coordination hadnât clicked, and her new sport relied heavily on the upper body, a stark difference from the soccer skills sheâd acquired over the years.
But then things changed, and Stahrrâs love for the game grew. She would come home from school and play wall ball for hours. She tried to perfect her hand-eye coordination, which hindered her field play. In seventh grade, her team needed a goalie, and her coach placed Stahrr between the pipes. Like her previous experience getting into the game, the position wasnât a fit â at least immediately.
âI didnât want to be a goalie. I was very against it,â Stahrr said. âI was fine playing on the field. But then they forced me to be goalie and that first game, I played really, really well. I was surprised at how well I played. And from that point on, I knew that I was going to be a lacrosse goalie until the day I graduated college.â
Stahrrâs new goal became playing lacrosse at the highest level possible. She worked for it, devoting after-school hours to perfect her game. When she was 15, she committed to Syracuse, and a few years later her college career began.
As a freshman, Stahrr was quickly humbled. Sure, she was now part of the less than 2 % of the population who become Division I athletes. Her name appeared on the roster of one of the top programs in the country. Sheâd beaten the odds â 47 to 1 â of making the team.
But part of what comes with signing on to Syracuse is competing for starting spots with the best players in the nation. In her first season, she took shots from one of the best players in program â and, generally, lacrosse â history, Kayla Treanor, who recently was named the head coach of Syracuse womenâs lacrosse. Graduate student Allie Murray, who started all 24 games for the Orange during Stahrrâs freshman year, filled the crease.
The next year, sophomore Stahrr was positioned in the middle of three goalies. Ahead of her was junior tender Erin Coleman. Coming in as a freshman was a name now plastered in the program record book: Asa Goldstock. From that moment, Stahrrâs crease belonged to Goldstock, and the freshman phenom became former coach Gary Gaitâs go-to goalie.
Goldstock played 91 games in an Orange jersey; she started in 90 contests. In only one game, she conceded the starting spot, and it was for Stahrrâs senior day. On April 16, 2019, Stahrr stood between the pipes for the first 1:21 against Cornell. After the first goal, she returned to the sidelines, and Syracuse struggled to pull out a 16-13 win.
In four years with Syracuse lacrosse, Stahrr appeared in 23 games, playing just shy of 200 minutes. She made 26 saves and was credited with one win. Her win came in a 12-11 overtime victory over Virginia Tech after she replaced Goldstock at the start of the second half. She picked up five ground balls and caused one turnover to round out her career stats.
In her senior year, Stahrr was selected as a Remembrance Scholar, and she chose to represent Turhan Ergin, a walk-on on the Syracuse menâs lacrosse team who was killed in the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103.
âWe learned about the victims and then wrote about who we wanted to represent,” Stahrr said to Cuse.com in 2018. “I picked Turhan because he was a lacrosse player like me. I met his cousin and spoke with his brother. That really personalized it for me.”
On paper, Stahrrâs career can be summarized in a handful of sentences. The stark reality is that only so many players are chosen to start, and the rest of the roster has two options: watch and support from the sidelines or leave. For Stahrr, the latter was never an option.
âHonestly, I just loved it. I love my teammates. I love playing lacrosse. I love having the opportunities that I got as an athlete. The opportunity to stand on the sideline was just amazing,â said Stahrr. âThatâs not for some people. Some people want to be the ones that play. But, for me, I was content. Thatâs not the life for everybody. But I knew my 12-year-old self would have wanted me to play all four years and not give up on it.â
She didnât give up, and she recognizes now that there were silver linings to being a backup. Escaping the pressure carried by starters put the fun back in the game. She had more time to devote to academics, which was important for the education major who needed to complete student-teaching placements for her degree.
âI could not imagine having to balance that on top of being a starting goalie,â Stahrr said. âThe things I learned as a backup goalie, I never would have learned as a starter. I never would have become the leader that I did. I never would have become as mentally strong as I did. I never would have become, honestly, the person I am today without being the backup. I think I would be a very different person if I was just the starter all four years.â
Stahrr looks back on her time at Syracuse fondly, even if it didnât go the way she imagined. Without lacrosse, she admits she wouldnât have lifelong friends. One of those people is Coleman, who Stahrr bonded with through their shared experience as sidelined backup goalies. Because of that, Coleman understands why her friend stayed on the team.
âItâs not just about being on the field,â Coleman said. âI donât think your playing time should define your experience. Itâs what you get out of it. Thatâs just life that comes with being an athlete. The community and the friendships that I made, I donât think that was worth the sacrifice of quitting. At the end of the day, no one really asked me if I was on the field. Itâs just hearing that I was a part of such an amazing program, and that in and of itself is a great opportunity.â
Both women talked about the friends that became family, and how that was part of the main reason for their dedication to Syracuse lacrosse. But with athletic teams â especially at the collegiate level â there is always an inkling that those groups arenât as close as they make it seem. But according to both Stahrr and Coleman, itâs not just a façade at Syracuse.
âYou go through so much together, all the highs and lows of the season, all that emotion,â Stahrr said. âYouâre going to come closer together no matter what.â
Coleman echoed her friendâs observations. âIt really was a sense of community, a sense of belonging. Everyone was accepted no matter what,â Coleman said. âAt the end of the day, we all had each otherâs back. It was more than a community. It was a family.â
Stahrr and Coleman spent a lot of time with their lacrosse family, especially splitting time as player and cheerleader during games. Because she wasnât a starter, Stahrr was able to adjust to what life would be like without lacrosse â or at least what she could do with more time and less stress. Thatâs why, when she accepted a job teaching at Liverpool High School, she planned to step away from lacrosse for a while.
But thatâs the tough part about spending most of your life as an athlete. It becomes a part of your identity. Lacrosse came calling, this time with a coaching opportunity. As a teacher, and someone hoping for a way back into the game, she couldnât turn down that chance. Come fall, sheâll spend the day teaching English at Liverpool, and then sheâll travel 15 minutes across town to coach the next generation of lacrosse players at Cicero-North Syracuse High School.
Standing outside the gate leading to Liverpoolâs football field, she smiles when she talks about Syracuse, about her friends, about the possible options for the new head coach, even though she already knows who was picked. Her lacrosse stick â with âCuseâ in orange on the metal shaft â twists in her hands with each word. Stahrr never left lacrosse, and in return, the game never left her.
