See how I carry myself in shared spaces? Very mindful, very demure

The “demure” trend that’s infected our social media and humor might be the wake-up call we need as a campus. Hear me out: although the original TikTok is humorous, it was a legitimate criticism of popular trends’ real-life impacts – a criticism the social culture at Syracuse University is long overdue for. How we treat each other genuinely impacts campus culture, and I believe if we were all a little more demure and mindful, our experiences at SU would be much more cutesy.

The roots of “demure”

With so many content creators oversaturating the internet with microtrends, we have started to see some pretty ridiculous – and even misleading – fads, such as the “office siren” aesthetic. 

Consisting of looks inspired by business attire, but ignoring the dress codes most 9 to 5 jobs adhere to,  the “office siren” aesthetic has faced significant backlash for its detachment from the realities of respectability politics in professional work environments. 

Content creator Jools Lebron has been an active participant in this backlash. In the video that initiated the “demure” TikTok trend, Lebron provides a satirical reality check to young women influenced by trends like the “office siren,” which may give fashionable outfit advice but remains, again, detached from the reality of the appropriate time and place for such an outfit.

@joolieannie

#fyp #demure

♬ original sound – Jools Lebron

We all know that expressing yourself through makeup and clothing has nothing to do with your ability to perform your job successfully, but the unfortunate reality of career advancement as a woman entails adhering to these arbitrary standards that have very real consequences regarding the respect and opportunities you receive in your employment. Lebron describes this professionally-acceptable expression of femininity as, “cutesy,” “demure,” and “mindful.” 

In the original video, Lebron points to her own neutral-toned eye makeup with a sharp winged liner as a “demure” look for work.

She said, “I don’t come to work with a green cut crease, I don’t look like a clown when I go to work.” 

While I don’t care if you wear literal clown makeup to class, there are some areas we can improve on to avoid looking like clowns on campus. Specifically, we can improve how we utilize shared spaces – because how we’re doing it now is not cutesy or demure.

Staying cutesy on sidewalks and walkways

Photo by Rezi Ubogu

The Einhorn Family Walk is one of the main throughways for the campus, running alongside the Schine Student Center, Bird Library, and even Newhouse. Many students will walk up and down the Walk during their day.

The first area we need to discuss is sidewalks and walkways … why are you taking up the whole path? Not very demure or mindful! You may not know this, but sidewalks (yes, and walkways) work the same as streets; with people moving both directions, each on their right side of the path. 

Like with streets, the whole thing isn’t just for you! Please refrain from walking in a group that blocks the entire path; no one else can use it, and you force others to step off the pavement to get around you! It won’t kill you to go single-file for a second to share the sidewalk, and you won’t be actively inconveniencing others (very demure, very mindful). 

Finally, as you can tell by their names sideWALKs and WALKways are not for you to stop and stand in the middle of – you’re not a deer, please get out of my headlights, thank you. 

Staying mindful on buses, elevators and in doorways

Next, we need to discuss buses, elevators, and doorways. Allow me to start by saying that doorways are not good places to stand! 

Moving along to address buses, I understand that many of you did not grow up using public transportation, and that’s okay, but let’s review the basic etiquette of riding a bus. 

In the year he’s been a bus driver for Centro, Daquan Crawford says he’s noticed one big difference between his student and non-student passengers: students riding the bus seem too preoccupied with themselves to be aware of their surroundings, making the process of taking the bus more inconvenient than it is on other routes (not cutesy, not demure!). So, here are some basics for demure bus riding:

Allowing people to exit buses (and elevators) before you board is a common courtesy, and following this system makes the experience more smooth for everyone.

When boarding and exiting the bus, try removing your headphones to greet your driver – and again to thank them when you get off – even just a wave is better than completely ignoring the people who make it possible for many of you to get to campus. 

Another big one is being mindful of filling all the available seating on the bus. It feels ridiculous to stand at a bus stop and be passed by a bus that is clearly not at capacity! There are fully functioning seats and standing room in the back, and we need to use them so other people can fit on the bus.

A bus isn’t full until all the seats are taken and all the standing room is full. We need to make a conscious effort not to block others from reaching open seats – and the entire back of the bus – so that we can make use of the whole shared space, and not inadvertently get in the way of someone’s ride to campus. This absolutely includes taking an extra seat for your bag!

Be demure; treat campus employees with respect!

Photo by Rezi Ubogu

Students order food at CoreLIfe Eatery in the Schine Student Center.

Finally, we need to talk about how we treat campus employees. You are not somehow above campus employees! Not cutesy, not mindful, and not demure. You should be treating the employees who make this campus run with the same respect you give your professors. Period. 

Bryan Quick, an employee of 16 years at SU, makes an effort to be an active campus community member but finds students are often dismissive of him.

“I try to say hello to a lot of students and, you know, maybe half of them will say hello back,” Quick said, “Seems like they’re less interested in socializing and more interested in their phones, and their airbuds, and whatever’s going on in their own head,” he continued.

It will not kill you to take your “airbuds” off for a second to say “hi” to Bryan and other campus employees! Again, at least wave to acknowledge him. You have the privilege to access higher education; let’s access our basic manners and respect, too.

So SU students, as Jools Lebron said in her iconic video, “Here’s your reality check, diva! What’s the name you’d like me to make it out to?”